Watching a beautiful sunset

Saw such a beautiful sunset today, just coming out from work. Royal Rehab Centre Sydney has some of its buildings on top of a hill, so the views are incredible considering how it's in Ryde! The sun was a bright orangy-red, and the colours it gave out that caressed the view were a mix of pinks and blues and purples ... it was a typical sunset really, but this evening i saw it standing on top of a big hill with an amazing view, almost on the same level as the unreachable sun. Normally i'd think to myself "what a beautiful sunset, wow" but today i stopped my car and just sat there looking at it.

Watching that sunset refreshed me a little in a way that i haven't been freshened up in for a long time. These days ive been feeling somewhat run down and drained. Things have been good, but the accumulation of them all have been rather burdensome. Haven't blogged properly for a long time, since the Changeover last year. That was probably my most recent refreshing experience. Since then, uni has been hectic with heaps of assignments and exams, EU made uni life busier, and juggling all this with work and family and friends didn't turn out very well at times.

Summer holidays came around but until now i've been quite busy. At Royal rehab centre sydney, im part time (15 hrs a week) but with training as well it's been pretty much full time. Training's finished now, but they always give me afternoon shifts which means i gotta work more days as opposed to more hours per day. Still working at Curves and childcare, but much less these days ... they've been so nice, accommodating my schedule!

Tomorrow i'll be at Royal North Shore hospital for clinical placement ... wonder how that'll turn out! I'm excited, but the state im in now doesn't leave much room for excitement. And also, having to do this placement means ill be working for 8 days straight starting australia day

Church has been great, but busy with the holiday kids program, Girls Group planning and kicking off for the year, playing at 501 ... EU is kicking off as well now, with all the socials, leaders days away, training for small group leaders, meeting up with staffworkers and following up people.

Hmm sounds like im whinging when everything is actually GOOD =) Happy with my jobs at the moment, really grateful for the opportunities to serve at church and EU, it's been great meeting up with friends and spending better-quality time with family, it's also been great being more away/independent from my parents (hardly see them these days actually, relatively speaking)!! It's just that i'm feeling "used up" and this year's gonna be really packed (will be an exciting year though)

Despite the busyness, there's also been sickness this past month. Lost my voice on Boxing day last year, and came down with the flu not long afterwards. Flu lingered on, and eventually it turned out that my sinuses were infected, which explained the headaches and all the other signs. My GP put me onto antibiotics (just finished them today!) which have been having their own little wonderful side effects on my body. My right eye is still stuffed, but will be seeing an opthalmologist soon. And to top it off, ive been emotionally drained.

Funny how emotions work (grrr) Sometimes it's so easy to push them away, to be seemingly in control of them, and other times it's them in control. Hard to differentiate between the causes and consequences of different feelings ... for example, say for a girl, when a guy likes her but she doesnt like him (or thinks she doesnt anyway) she finds it relatively easy/reasonable to push him away (perhaps reluctantly) ... but when he seems to no longer have any feelings for her, her own feelings suddenly pop out and all reason seems to go astray. Is it because she misses his company? Could it be reverse psychology? Would it be just pure selfishness if she does now want him there? Would the feelings (should she now have any) be even true, or simply an answer to fill up a certain void that has always been there?

Hmm on the topic of voids, lately ive been feeling quite lonely sometimes, for some reason. I wonder if one can really really escape loneliness without going out with someone. One thing ive learnt is that no one, no matter how great a friend/partner/family member he or she may be, can satisfy loneliness. Personally, i reckon that God alone can satisfy a human being completely, because we were created to be in relationship with our Father =)

Which brings me back to the beginning of this long long rant. As i sat there admiring its beauty, i was reminded of the sovereignty of our mighty Lord. He's the creator of beauty, He's the creator and sustainer of life. Our loving Father is sovereign over all =) And in this my heart rejoices!

21st Photos up!

Photos are finally uploaded properly!

http://picasaweb.google.com/vvvivante/My21st?authkey=V3jlf5nl4SE

Apologies for the long wait

Thanks again for coming and for your well wishes

And more photos!

I think each post has a limited capacity for photos ... bit annoying, but keep scrolling down!

The performance of the song 'Lost in Wonder'

(I'm sure everyone there would agree with me saying that these three performed the song so beautifully!)

And those who had to leave early ... thanks for coming even though u had to rush off to other things!

Iain (middle) with Luke and I

Sonia and Kester (both Science EUers!!)

And i've now lost my voice =( Wonder why ... im guessing it's from yesterday a result of crispy chicken, my brother's cruchy cookies, tea, jelly, singing along to my piano playing, chatting on the phone for 3 whole hours (was a really really good chat, i felt, would be worth losing my voice now =P)

There are plenty more photos ... im thinking about whether i should put them up somewhere hmm. Shall blog again before long!

More photos!

For some reason, couldn't fit more into the other post

Oh and if anyone would like the photos, just let me know and i'll send them to you (or print them out for you)!

High school girlie friends (North Sydney Girls)

My two awesome MCs and I (grrr to super tall guys!!)

Speech by friends in my uni course group

Speech by EU friends

Speech by Church friends (who are also my highschool friends)

Photos from my 21st!

Been so long since i last blogged, here are some photos taken at my 21st (finally!)

Many many thanks to everyone who came, it was so wonderful to see you all there. While i was on the stage, looking around the room, seeing 90 something of my friends there wishing me a happy birthday, i was really touched and there were tears in my eyes. I've been so blessed with you all, i can only hope to be a good friend to you as you have been to me.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!
(Oh, and only Sydney Uni had finished exams by the time of my 21st, it meant a lot that those who still had exams turned up!)


I think i've got everyone in one of the following photos at least once (including people who had to leave early and weren't in the group snaps). Everyone looked so good!

My family and cousin's family

My Church group (Northside Chinese Alliance)

EU Science!

Friends in my uni course group

EUers from other faculties, ECU, and other 'randoms' (eek!)

Tis strangeee

It's so strange how after going away for a few days on a holiday or conference, coming back home and resuming with the normal day-to-day routine feels quite strange. As some of you know, last monday to wednesday i was at Changeover conference, in Kihilla (midway up the blue mountains i think), along with 70 or so other EU leaders for 2006-07. It was an awesome experience to say the least!

Changeover conference was a time of learning from Ephesians on the privilege, reality and power of serving our great God. It was also a time of planning and bonding with our teams/committees. And of course, fun and games and food!! The Science committee has been really committed and loving thus far, and its my hope and prayer that these qualities will only grow stronger throughout this year. It's such an amazing committee, and ive been really overwhelmed and humbled by being given the privilege of serving with them! Two years ago when i started uni, i would've never imagined myself in such a position, but God's grace has truly been abundant :)

Our vision for EU Science is: to be a tight-knit and out-reaching community, compelled by God's love, that lives passionately and prayerfully as Spirit-filled Christians. Our vision for this vision is that it will all be brought under the Lordship of Christ, and carried by His loving hands day by day!

So yeah, here's a post after what seems to have been quite a long time! If anyone was wondering what's been keeping me busy, there was nothing more exciting than, together with Luke, starting our EU year (Sept06-Sept07) as co-faculty leaders :) I pray that we will only be channels for God to work in and through, that His will be done in EU Science, that He will keep our hearts and minds humbly in line with His purposes, that everything we do we will do for His glory and not ours!

May the mind of Christ

Having just read my friend's most recent post on her blog, my whinging sounded so grr :( Sometimes im sitting in the lectures or walking around cumbo, and i find that i become quite impatient with what im studying there. There is so much confusion and unrest in me sometimes, like surely i must have a passion for some area of study? Why aren't i studying maths or something? Why that sudden change in uac preferences from adv maths? Hmm i don't understand.

But im greatly encouraged by my friend's thankfulness for her being in a car accident that left 2 vertebrae fractured. Through her, i can see God's love, God's grace, God working His purposes out, and it's amazingly beautiful :) I've no doubt that she's had a couple of small struggles with her situation, but God has been so good, so merciful and has filled her with such inexpressible peace :) I'm so grateful God has blessed me with such wonderful sisters and brothers, that He saved us into such wonderful relationships with Him and His family :) Reading her blog was refreshing to say the least.

People ask me what i'll do after i graduate, and i don't know. Options are too broad at the moment, and there's always doubt as to whether certain options would be available in the future. But this i know, that God is good. I don't know what will happen in 2 years time, or in half a year's time ... i don't even know if i'll live for another month or another day, but i do know that God is working His purposes out, and they are good. He alone knows what is best for each and every one of us, and He is loving and gracious :) Looking back, i can see that He's answered some of my deepest prayers already! In around 10 days time, something even more exciting for me may be started ... but let His will be done :) Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34) and may we become only channels for God!


May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.

it makes that nail stronger

Almost midnight!
Really like thursday nights cos it feels like a friday night ... the anticipation of being allowed to wind down, planning for the weekend, creating a false impression that i'll be really productive over the weekend and as a result spending the whole night bumming around, or if for some strange reason i touch my uni work, the illusion of being ahead with uni work! *groans* accidentally ate and slept my whole evening away eeek :(

Been having the hay fever the past couple of days ... went through a couple of packet of tissues ... wonder how long it'll last? Hehe i always seem to get told off by my mum for being sick ... seems like every year i get the flu mid-winter, then hay fever in sept, and if i go to HK, then the flu again ... and sometimes catching a cold in summer strangely.

Assessments are all crammed up into certain weeks for me this semester ... which isnt too good cos im lacking motivation and discipline these days ... an endless cycle of bludging, then cramming, then bludging, cramming ... aii. This year is mostly exercise sports science, which is really stoopid ... and it's not just me saying so. Lately, im constantly reminded by the futility of the degree exercise & sports science. I took it up cos it meant one more year of study would give me one more degree, and being asian, why not? Wonder if i'll do anything with it in the future ... like all the research is applied ... far out, they do all these studies just to prove a point that common sense would come up with. Like in science, conducting studies adds to the wealth of knowledge humanity has been accumulating over the past few eons, but health sciences pretty much just look at people and draw conclusions from what responses they obtain from the majority of the subjects. For instance, they do all these studies just to say that it would be good for young kids to be able to kick a ball, but it may be too hard on them if we train them, and they spend like a good 10mins of a lecture telling us about it ... 10min lullaby:P Like i have respect for them ... but these days it seems quite pointless and makes me lack the motivation to study.

*breathes out* that was quite a rant hmm ... but sometimes it's not that bad ... the emptiness and hole-liness of cumbo doesnt help at all ... but the people there are great and it's such a nice relaxed setting for lovely chats, which makes up for it :)

Ohh and just in case anyone's wondering why im wearing nail polish to uni, it's cos nail polish makes the nail of my index finger (the one i slammed the car door onto) much stronger, especially when it's wet and warm (coming out of the shower) and putting nail polish onto just one finger seems a bit strange. Hmm maybe not really. Yeah i might wipe it off all other fingers by that one, we'll see!

*yawn*

*yawn*
Lacking motivation to do anything at the moment, which is pretty bad ... blogging instead ... hmm maybe i should head off and do something more productive!
Was at the Aussie masters swimming today (St John duty), which was soooo bludgey. It must be the laziest duty ive ever been to! Just sat there and chatted and read and ate ... ate so much junk food *groans* and they had a sausage sizzle to wrap up the event. Was so stuffy though so i had this annoying headache most of the time ... but there was one very interesting thing that happened ... we treated a broken arm! Yeah it sounds really insensitive and all, and seeing that 10yr old boy screaming with pain was really distressing for sure ... but after learning so much about broken limbs, i gotta say it was quite fascinating to finally see it all put into action. Hmm as we reviewed what we did in our minds though, there were some small things we could've done better ... why didnt we think of that before? Why is it always like that, realising something when it's too late? Guess experience is a good teacher.
Sleeeeeepy. My appreciation for my bed is even more now, after spending last night on the couch. Started off being quite comfy, but it got worse during the night so i kept waking up. Fell asleep on it after washing up last night, and couldnt get myself through a shower. So easy to take little things for granted sometimes. Will sleep in my bed with Wuffie and my bear-bear blankie tonight :)
*nitey nite*

Hello Spring !

Such a long time since the last post ... half a month? Wonder if anyone still reads this. Everyone seems so busy these days ... and sick too :( if not sick, then tired ... wonder if it's the time of year or something. Ive been pretty weak lately myself, not sure what it is but the past couple of days ive been physically and mentally unable to do stuff. It's been pretty bad, esp with the ulcer and stuff. This year, i seem to need "stop" days every now and then, days in which i stay home all day, get out of bed some time in the afternoon cos i can't do anything else.

Everything seems to be pass, everything transitory ... beauty fades, friendships grow distant ... these days, sometimes i feel like everything that i do or relationships that are formed, and how i feel about things, they'll all pass with time. Like say you're hurt, it'll pass ... "get over it and move on" seems to be the key to all problems, push on, doing the best you can. Feels like everything is meaningless. But then again i know that God is eternal and He is sovereign over all. It is apart from Him that all things are meaningless ... life lived under the Lordship of Jesus Christ is filled with meaning, purpose and value :)

Got a job at a females' fitness centre in Epping! We'll see how it goes, especially given how we only have 24 hrs a day. Such a nice, warm, positive, purple environment! And the people are all so wonderful ... the place just makes you want to bubble ^^ hehe and i rather like their strength machines. Hehe got my % body fat tested by this medical/scientific machine yesterday arvo (apparently it's much more accurate than skinfolds). Hmmm if you round up my reading, it's 11% ... which i reckon is like ... impossible!! My (future) employer seemed to believe it, and got a bit worried ... will definitely test it out again next time ... i mean what kinda scientist trusts results based on only one reading :P

Ohhh getting late, might go have a look at this cardio sculpt aerobics tape ... hehe. Good morning Spring :)

Update: Ohhh just read up on taking body fat using a machine ... and i dont think that reading of 11% was very accurate considering how i drank some water within 4 hours of testing and moved around ... so im afraid it's higher than 11% eeeek. Ah well, at least im not fulfilling one of the criteria for anorexia then :) Must get it tested again sooon!