Watching a beautiful sunset

Saw such a beautiful sunset today, just coming out from work. Royal Rehab Centre Sydney has some of its buildings on top of a hill, so the views are incredible considering how it's in Ryde! The sun was a bright orangy-red, and the colours it gave out that caressed the view were a mix of pinks and blues and purples ... it was a typical sunset really, but this evening i saw it standing on top of a big hill with an amazing view, almost on the same level as the unreachable sun. Normally i'd think to myself "what a beautiful sunset, wow" but today i stopped my car and just sat there looking at it.

Watching that sunset refreshed me a little in a way that i haven't been freshened up in for a long time. These days ive been feeling somewhat run down and drained. Things have been good, but the accumulation of them all have been rather burdensome. Haven't blogged properly for a long time, since the Changeover last year. That was probably my most recent refreshing experience. Since then, uni has been hectic with heaps of assignments and exams, EU made uni life busier, and juggling all this with work and family and friends didn't turn out very well at times.

Summer holidays came around but until now i've been quite busy. At Royal rehab centre sydney, im part time (15 hrs a week) but with training as well it's been pretty much full time. Training's finished now, but they always give me afternoon shifts which means i gotta work more days as opposed to more hours per day. Still working at Curves and childcare, but much less these days ... they've been so nice, accommodating my schedule!

Tomorrow i'll be at Royal North Shore hospital for clinical placement ... wonder how that'll turn out! I'm excited, but the state im in now doesn't leave much room for excitement. And also, having to do this placement means ill be working for 8 days straight starting australia day

Church has been great, but busy with the holiday kids program, Girls Group planning and kicking off for the year, playing at 501 ... EU is kicking off as well now, with all the socials, leaders days away, training for small group leaders, meeting up with staffworkers and following up people.

Hmm sounds like im whinging when everything is actually GOOD =) Happy with my jobs at the moment, really grateful for the opportunities to serve at church and EU, it's been great meeting up with friends and spending better-quality time with family, it's also been great being more away/independent from my parents (hardly see them these days actually, relatively speaking)!! It's just that i'm feeling "used up" and this year's gonna be really packed (will be an exciting year though)

Despite the busyness, there's also been sickness this past month. Lost my voice on Boxing day last year, and came down with the flu not long afterwards. Flu lingered on, and eventually it turned out that my sinuses were infected, which explained the headaches and all the other signs. My GP put me onto antibiotics (just finished them today!) which have been having their own little wonderful side effects on my body. My right eye is still stuffed, but will be seeing an opthalmologist soon. And to top it off, ive been emotionally drained.

Funny how emotions work (grrr) Sometimes it's so easy to push them away, to be seemingly in control of them, and other times it's them in control. Hard to differentiate between the causes and consequences of different feelings ... for example, say for a girl, when a guy likes her but she doesnt like him (or thinks she doesnt anyway) she finds it relatively easy/reasonable to push him away (perhaps reluctantly) ... but when he seems to no longer have any feelings for her, her own feelings suddenly pop out and all reason seems to go astray. Is it because she misses his company? Could it be reverse psychology? Would it be just pure selfishness if she does now want him there? Would the feelings (should she now have any) be even true, or simply an answer to fill up a certain void that has always been there?

Hmm on the topic of voids, lately ive been feeling quite lonely sometimes, for some reason. I wonder if one can really really escape loneliness without going out with someone. One thing ive learnt is that no one, no matter how great a friend/partner/family member he or she may be, can satisfy loneliness. Personally, i reckon that God alone can satisfy a human being completely, because we were created to be in relationship with our Father =)

Which brings me back to the beginning of this long long rant. As i sat there admiring its beauty, i was reminded of the sovereignty of our mighty Lord. He's the creator of beauty, He's the creator and sustainer of life. Our loving Father is sovereign over all =) And in this my heart rejoices!