Airing some thoughts

Some quotes i scratched out from under piles of paper while i was tidying my room!


"The biggest fear in life is not death, but hopelessness. The greatest miracle in life is finding hope from hopelessness."

"Live your life fully, and use it to inspire others. Live it so you won't regret it when it comes to summarise it. Life is worth living, with such tremendous love [God's love] behind you."

"Love can be there for a long long time, even eternity, but life is always so short."

Shakespeare on Love

Sonnet 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

So short

something i came cross:

"Many metaphors are used in literature to describe life's brevity. It is a dream, a swift runner, a mist, a puff of smoke, a shadow, a gesture in the air, a sentence written in the sand, a bird flying in one window of a house and out another. Another symbolic description was suggested by someone who said that the short dash between the dates of birth and death on tombstones represents the brief span of one's life.

When we were children, time loitered. But as we get closer to the end of our lives, time moves with increasing swiftness, like water swirling down a drain. In childhood we measured our age in small increments. "I'm 6 1/2", we would say, for it seemed to take so long to get older. Now we have no time for such childishness. Who claims to be 60 1/2?

DON'T JUST COUNT YOUR DAYS, MAKE YOUR DAYS COUNT"


having had to deal with death as well as the prospect of death has made the brevity of life all the more real for me. looking into the future seems almost scary, to the responsibilities that lie ahead such as working instead of being at uni, bearing influence on those around u, getting married perhaps and having a family etc...seeming quite daunting sometimes. yet growing up is inevitable. To make the most of our earthly existence, we must lose ourselves in the will of God (1 Peter 4:2) God is, and always will be, there....and that alone provides strength, comfort, etc (all that we need) beyond all else!

yummy dinner =)

Just back from my cousins' place! Dinner was wonderful, cooked by my uncle and aunt =) hehe as was the bickering and fighting (as well as doing 4u math questions) with my dear cousin =P was great to eat again, let alone such yummy food!! hehe the chicken was a little out of reach for me, but other dishes made up for it! anyways need to have shower ... hmm my cousin asked me about whot the title 'Keep on swimming' meant. he thought it arose from my cruel treatment of the spider that swam around in my toilet bowl >.< shall explain later =P

I Had a Dream !

Couldn't sleep last night for a while, but when i did i had such a powerful and vivid dream. Past and present were merged in a strange way. Was at my primary school, but the school was situated opposite to 'Licombe Library' (hmm don't think there is such a library in Licombe though!) and on top of that, the library is a mirror image of Stanton Library (the library we used to visit back in high school).

The primary school friends i still keep in touch with were there, as were some of my highschool and uni friends, and friends from Northside =) hehe the funny thing was we sat this exam paper set for year 6 students! Also remember turning up late for my class (cause i was busy chatting and lost track of time) and the teacher turned out to be one who taught me in year 4! Hmm stranger still, my friends looked like they did when we first became friends...it was like appearance-wise, my primary school friends hadnt matured from their juvenile looks, nor did my high school friends, who looked like they were still in year 7! Despite appearances though, in my dream they were the people they've become now, much more mature! Was a good dream all in all, was good to see my primary school friends again, even though it wasnt real =)

Hmm if im to take a stab at interpreting this dream, im guessing a part of me still misses the past - that childish naivete and carefreeness - yet the other part knows that growing up is inevitable and looks forward to the future. Sometimes as i take a walk in my primary school, i become nostalgic of those days when responsibility was an alien concept, when my friends and i would swing upside down on monkey bars and run around on the oval playing '44 home' or something. Nowadays when i do run on the very same oval i do so alone, with many things running through my mind, from exams to work to relationships to the deeper issues of life. Though some changes have been made to that oval, it still remains to be one of my favourite places =)

Back to food yay!

Hehe started eating solids again =) Got freaked out though when one of my stitches broke >.< Was still panicky when i called my oral surgeon, who spent most of the conversation calming me down! Good to eat again, though it's still restricted to soft foods! First thing i ate: a peach =)

Oh and im back on the roads yay!!

Hmm came across a man who, because he drove around 10 mins to the station in today's hot weather needlessly (someone else was picking his son up already without him knowing), complained and yelled at those around him. He had been at home nice and cool, but because of a misunderstanding, earned a light sweat from going to the station. Sure it must've been a little frustrating, and it was hot outside, but surely such a small thing didnt give him the right to yell at others as though they had committed some terrible crime when in fact they had good intentions? Part of me knotted up cause no one sided with this man, yet the other part didnt like what i saw at all.

A friend once advised me to put things into perspective. You only have to see the many injustices done to people around the world, or on tv shows if not in real life. Look to Jesus, to the unjust ridicule and pain He (sinless and pure) bore prior to His death on the cross. I get frustrated at things too, and putting things into perspective when im still in that state is easier said than done...trying to improve >.< oooh that can be a chinese new year's resolution hehe =P

a little lighter now =) the weight of 4 teeth gone!

ahh wisdom teeth all out! quite a bit of swelling and occasional pain but other than that it's alright, at least im not longer spewing blood =) so paranoid my tongue's gonna knock out the stitches before they're supposed to come out though >.<

hospital was good, if u minus all that time spent waiting! arrived there at 10:30am and had to wait in my room till 1pm when they wheeled me into this other room, for more waiting =P just missed out on watching ED grrr! did manage to watch 'my girlfriends' though =P in the other room (which they call the 'recovery room') everything's so sterile...was good but had an alien feel to it. was such a nice surprise to see a uni friend of mine there, working as a wardsman (the guys who wheel ur bed around amongst other jobs)! he stopped by my bed every now and then to chat...having a friend around while i was waiting and being wheeled into unfamiliar rooms was a blessing =)

GA went alright....quite an interesting experience! felt the anaesthetic go into my hand and up my arm then closed my eyes when i saw that the room 'shift' ... then i was conked out. i remember dreaming about something when i heard this nurse yell at me to wake up back in recovery =S was kinda hard to breathe at first before they stuck the oxygen mask on, but things went well =) i think they were a bit worried about my low blood pressure, and kept taking it time and time again. but the ice cream, lemonade and lime jelly (which my dad ate =P) were more than enough to compensate! still cant remember whot the dream was about though...can only remember a name that was floating around =P

been reading quite a bit lately, with an ice pack around my face! carmen lent me the 'Chaos Gate trilogy' =) as good as i found it when i first read it! about order and chaos and the need for a balance between them =) characters are awesome, esp tarod and yandros! most of louise cooper's writing is no longer in print =( some people don't recognise it when good writing is staring in their faces =P

hmm no sure whot mood im in atm! just had butternut pumpkin soup! yumm! never used to like pumpkin soup till recently....hehe it's interesting how taste buds seem to mature as u grow older....like i hated the taste of coffee when i was a kid, but that's different these days! still don't like eggplants and avocados though =P

how to please men =P

hehe received some advice from this midday show today before i left for work:

"oh there's heaps of things to keep men happy besides sex...there's food, cars, sports, games, doggies...dogs are men's best friends u know"

after work dropped by for some milk with another tutor. hehe was interesting going with a guy who doesnt get his hands into grocery-shopping much at all! only just starting to get to know him....hehe first impression: he's a wonderful brother in Christ i'd like to be better acquainted with =) really admire those who simply let God's love shine through untainted!

anyway getting all four wisdom teeth removed under general tmr! shall be an interesting experience that, been pretty thought-provoking actually. nothing in this world is certain these days, whot if something happens and life ends tomorrow? or in a month's time? as TS Eliot said, 'life is not real until death [or concept of] becomes real for you'. hmm just started exploring his poetry last night so yeh still somewhat confused but it's good and challenging.

ED!!!

aish spent like 20 mins dealing with 3 spiders and 1 cockcroach in my bathroom last nite >.<
i reckon i deserve an award, with whole family asleep and not helping moi =P u know those tiny tiny ones, so tiny u could fit like 10 of them on a 5c coin...horrible horrible!! washed the tiny cockroach down the sink, squished one of the spiders, flushed one down the loo (and saw it swimming after), the third one...i don't want to think about it >.<

anyway, on a brighter note, ED is back on!!! hehe for those who are slower than others it's on channel ten at 1pm everyday =P yay!!! too bad they're repeats these days, hopefully after a while they'll show the new ones! hehe much better than the other shows on at 1pm anyway....'days of our lives' on seven and 'young & restless' on nine (i think!)

hmm slept in this morning...for once i got outta bed after my brother did!!! he woke me up from this nice dream i was having though grrr....strange dream that starred ppl i know in real life, only they looked quite different. like this guy from church with short black hair and glasses turned out to have heaps of unkempt orange-brown hair and no glasses =S and i spent half my dream looking for our two white cars in these packed carparks surrounded from bright flowers from my garden! hehe

been working quite a bit these days which has been good =) been realising more and more that teaching requires heaps of patience...like yesterday was helping this yr1 kid learn addition....kept getting sums like 50+1 wrong though there was a number chart in front of him. like he gave the right answer but when i got him to write it down, he had no idea whot the answer was. hehe then counted from 40-60 continuously 3 times in the 1 minute...got a little frustrating when this happened over and over again. but it's really really encouraging seeing kids grow in maturity and knowledge...very rewarding =) really great too when we take our attention off the work and simply talk for a while...about how things are at home and school, with friends and family etc. the best part for me is when we talk as friends, having trust developing, and making the most of the opportunities to encourage =)

anyways time for lunch-making and ED!!! hehe can't miss ED! he's got such character =)