waiting for the bus

The past couple of days, everything ive been doing or will do, and things ive been going through, seem so hopeless, helpless, directionless, senseless, meaningless, filling me with a heavy sense of shame, fear and guilt.All the decisions im making these days all seem so stupid and regret tags along. Thinking back to half a year ago, i can only dream of re-living in such a paradise nowadays. I encourage others to find rest in the Lord, but at the same time i find myself asking "how can i find rest in the Lord?" It's not just because of the upcoming exams, but a multitude of factors, some of which im aware of, others i know not. I dread waking up some mornings, and i dread bed time.
O joy, where art thou? O peace, where art thou?
As i stood on pacific highway today, all these people walked past, and all these cars were driven past, yet i felt as though i was totally alone. My family have been great, but that only enhances the fear of disappointing them. This morning, i felt things all around me, not life, because inside i felt lifeless and loveless. I saw all around me decay and disease, as the sight of a man with stunted growth walking past me filled my eyes with tears.

Praise the LORD.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
(Psalm 106:1)


Come, Lord Jesus, come.