being lazy >.<

two full days packed with first aid training this weekend! was great on sat, even better today, especially cause two members from my own division joined! so many ppl from the UNSW division. pretty tired. the exam was much longer and intense than that for Senior First Aid, the examiners more strict. didnt do well for one of the practical components >.< but then again seeing how it's Advanced First Aid they have to set high standards cos we'll be expected to supervise and instruct the senior and basic first aiders. the officer in charge from my division was telling me how he found it not easy either, which i found surprising cos he's much more experienced and older!

so yeah pretty tired and not wanting to study >.< didnt realise how hard it is for older ppl (middle age and over) to physically carry casualties. don't wanna grow old =P hehe but with age hopefully shall come much-needed wisdom!

ohhh at dinner my parents came up with a plan for the next 10 years of my life =P hehe finish the two degrees to become qualified as dietetian and sport scientist. then go study postgrad med at usyd. hehe the three degrees and being a qualified first aider meaning that ill be able to look after a person from the moment they become injured til they pretty much fullly recover. oh, and marry a com/law guy in case i get sued and to manage finances etc cos i don't know much about commercy stuff at all. all that in less than 10 years =P mad! haha

hmm off to do something productive. tiredness really does come hand in hand with lack of motivation >.<

Contentment

Extract from Barbara Hughes' book
Disciplines of a Godly Woman (Discipline of Contentment)


I do not know
when I have had happier times
in my soul
than when I have been sitting at work,
with nothing before me
but a candle and a white cloth,
and hearing no sound
but that of my own breath;
with God in my soul
and heaven in my eye.
I rejoice in being exactly what I am
- a creature capable of loving God,
and who, as long as God lives,
must be happy.
I get up
and look a while out the window.
I gaze at the moon and stars,
the work of an Almighty Hand.
I think of the grandeur of the universe
and then sit down
and think myself
one of the happiest
beings in it
(Writer unknown)

"The rare jewel of Christian contentment will be yours when all that God is and all that He has done in Christ Jesus fills your heart."



So hard to be content! Probably true for most human beings hmm. Is it easier to be content with little or with heaps? Hmm like when u're in need, sometimes it's hard to trust that God will provide and u worry. Yet if u have heaps, it'd seem hard to not feel independence from God, cos u pretty much have, and able to manipulate, everything...and possibly forget about God. Hmm

singleness

my brother was teaching me to be a "girl" hehe
quite funny actually!! very nice company when one is doing the dishes =)

yay no more 5hr labs for the rest of this semester! not that they were bad or anything though, i actually enjoyed them, despite having to do those assignments. labs have been a good way to get to know some ppl in my course. we have a lab partner who we work with for the whole semester, so u get to know them quite a bit. had a great lab partner this semester...many thanks, as well as apologies for those days when i was falling asleep!

we got talking last thurs about our younger brothers actually. i was really surprised at how protective i am of my brother regarding some things. i remember how once we talked about dating relationships, and the idea of my brother going out with someone at the moment scares me, like all the temptation etc. and not just temptation within such a relationship either, but all that exists in the world, even at school etc. don't want him to step away from the right path and all. and like what are his friends really like? how will they influence him? how have they affected him? whereas personally, i trust my friends, and i trust my friendships, and most of all i trust God with them and about them.

those thoughts led me to thinking from my parents' point of view. in the past, ive often resented how protective my parents have been of me, especially about dating relationships, thinking that i can take care of myself perfectly fine and all. but stepping into their shoes, i can see why they're protective. if i feel protective about my brother, how much more would they feel, because im their daughter, someone who has come from them. how much would u want to protect your child from the evils of this world? a lot
and im grateful for their protection, im grateful that they've cared so much. im glad that ive never been in one of those dating relationships as such, unless you count that 3-week 'relationship' that resulted from complete foolishness (was such an idiot) and nothing else. im glad that my future husband (if God so wills) won't be having "leftovers" of me and i pray that God will safeguard that.
for those who havent read josh harris, he wrote about a girl who went out with heaps of guys before her husband, and in a 'vision' all her previous boyfriends stood in front of her, and she realised that to each of them she had given a special part of herself away. what was left was what now belonged to the guy she's marrying.

recently with some stuff happening, i feel that God's been telling me to be patient with Him, wait for His good and perfect plan to continue to unfold, to trust in Him completely. and im willing to.
it's easy to not want to be single in this day and age, but it is God who knows us completely and utterly, and who loves us enough to give us the very best, our wants as well as needs. encourage those who are single at the moment to look to Jesus, and to make the most of time (well applies to everyone hehe). singleness is a gift though sometimes it may seem otherwise.

GPC finished

Equip course "Growing People in Christ" finished today...bad thing about end of semester is that things come to an end =( ah well. but it's been so challenging, the course! a lot to digest and try to put into practice! thank God for such a great opportunity, being at uni, receiving good Bible teaching, fellowship with other Christians! there was one week when i went to like 3 Bible studies and 2 lunchtime talks outside Church stuff, which was good in allowing me a glimpse into what it would be like to be an MTS worker...not that i see myself heading in that direction, not right now anyway. dunno why but there's no such desire for that at the moment....desire to do other stuff though =)

GPC ended with these verses from Philippians 3:12-17:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.

fluoro yellow!

sigh
why does someone always have to cheat in a quiz such a this? i know how u did it, next time it won't be so easy =P
thanks to all the people who did my quiz! really appreciate it. hehe some things are conclusive ... might blog about it later

went to granny smiths yesterday. going there this year felt was so different from previous years in that i had a responsibility, such a contrast to those childhood, carefree days! wearing that yellow St John Ambulance vest made such a difference. just one glance and the other people knew ur identity and that they could rely on you to help and they know what they can expect from you. Was great to help out though! And wearing the fluoro vest meant that u could pretty much cross the road without needing to make sure that the possibility of getting hit by a car was a low as possible, cos everyone stops for u =P got a bit nostalgic when i saw the kids on the rides, screaming with excitement when listening to a young girl singing 'my heart will go on'. our duty wasnt just to look at the rides and the kids and smile at them having fun, it included being observant and ready, in case some kid falls off and hurts him/herself.

Quiz

As a result of genuine curiosity and procrastination, i've revisited QuizYourFriends and made up a quiz about me that shouldn't take more than 10mins to do. Curious about how much i open up to people, how much my friends know about me, although the questions aren't as good as i had hoped to make them. So if u have 10mins to spare (only if u do!) please answer the 10 questions in my quiz! Note that they are not, in any way, indicative of the quality of my precious friendship with you. Much appreciated!
But seriously, please ignore if u don't have the time or can't be bothered!

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=051014082256-598965

house....grrrrrrrr

wot the...all the people i was talking to online just went poof =(
why?? cos HOUSE is on! boooo
actually might go watch the last 10mins or so, see wot it's like hmm

*yawn*
sleepy...about time i sleep again...not that i havent slept totally, but been averaging like 4hrs a night this week
but those two issues are kinda okay at the moment
as my friend pointed out yesterday, coincidently, sometimes a break is good for friends! a good friendship will always be there though u may not have talked for months =)

good to be back at uni, despite all those horrible assignments and exams coming up! been really great, meeting up with people, bumping into people, sharing our lives with one another, spurring each other on towards the goal, growing together, etc etc etc!

a brother in Christ pointed out the other day something that ive found challenging throughout my life, which is to not be emotionally dependent on other people. by this i don't mean that we exist in isolation physically emotionally spiritually and stuff, rather i believe that as human beings we were made for relationships, which are wonderful =) but to 'follow' someone to the extent that u place ur faith and trust entirely in him or her, and depend on someone totally, to exist for someone, to have yourself totally locked up with someone...other people are humans just like u yourself are. look to God =)

turn your eyes upon Jesus
look full at His wonderful face
and the things on earth will grow dim
in the light of His glory and grace

as my friend pointed out a fortnight or so ago, even husbands/wives pass away...be careful not to worship him or her, don't change just because he/she wants you to, don't serve, love and know God more because he/she wants you to, but do so for the glory of God alone. You are His precious, beloved child. He is your Father =)

many thanks for this good reminder!!
btw, hope it made sense...im actually really quite sleepy as im typing this sorry

escape is no solution

sigh
a couple of hours ago a realisation hit me as i strode across the footbridge into epping station
it's an issue that's been on my mind for a while....realisation that's been dawning
thought, and still thinking, that it's not that big a deal, that there's really no need to do anything about it, but at the same time thinking that it'd be better, and wiser, to do so
realisation: escape is no solution
must get off my butt and do something this week! instead of trying to think up of ways to avoid it, to lighten it, to run away, but never getting to the core of it and solving it, ending up back at square one in the end

Revive us O Lord

Father we come to you now
Trusting again in your power
Humble and heal us this hour
In Jesus' name
Help us repent of our ways
Our failures in seeking your face
Open our hearts to your praise
This is our prayer

Revive us O Lord
Send forth your spirit
Unsheathe your sword
And break through our chains
By the power of your word
Revive us
Revive us
Revive us O Lord

Idols have captured our lands
We worship the works of our hands
Lord for too long we have built
Houses on sand
Teach us to number our days
Cause us to walk in your ways
Boldly proclaiming your praise
Until you come

physically spiritually mentally emotionally

So tired these days, feeling quite drained and wanting to hibernate like one of those big cuddly bears! Desiring rest, going away to an island or something, and truly resting. Ive come to really treasure times spent just relaxing in the natural environment - wot i mean is spending the day under the sun at a beach or a nice big green park with beautiful flowers for instance - or somewhere really refreshing, like at the top of the Harbour Bridge (or the pylon part). Maybe im growing old, wanting things to slow down hmmm...just tired in many respects

Physically - quite rare, but these past few days ive been pretty fatigued (and no, it's not because of low iron levels!) Jumped onto the treadmill last last night with a 30 degree incline and after 300m, felt really tired >.< probably cause i'd walked a couple of km earlier that day. Felt too fatigued to go swimming, pretty bad hmm

Mentally - so much to do! Uni work piling up at too rapid a pace! that time of the semester i guess. really really sucks how we don't get stuvac this semester, again. but yay next year we will cause the weeks at both campuses are going to be lined up! hmm there's a major downside to that though, in that the health sciences students who have clinical during the 6-week mid-year break will have to have their placements rescheduled hmm. Must study from now on! and sleeping more might help, as my dad so cearly pointed out just then. averaging 5hrs a night (the past few nights) aint good.
tried giving my friend on exchange in hk a call just then. it got through and no one picked up. now im think that i might've dialled the wrong country code, having assumed that my mum had dialled it already when calling my grandma. hmm on second thought, it might've been for the better than whoever i called didnt pick up, and that i wasnt able to get through to my friend

Emotionally - hmmmm
thanks to all those people who have been there for me, listened to my rants, who have given me advice lovingly in regard to some things that have popped up recently. was really touched by servanthood truly personified in one of my friends a fortnight or so ago. really humbles me when i see the attitude of a servant in those around me, imitating Christ. what i also found really humbling is undeserved praise.

Spiritually - must admit that i havent been feeling as "passionate" as i would like to, and have felt in the past...was really great when my heart was set on fire by god to serve Him...to serve Him wholeheartedly!! with mind heart soul.....with every fibre in my body! longing to be renewed...
been good to be back at uni again....lunchtime public meetings, bible study, training for student leading, meeting up with people and sitting down for a chat. Girls' Group has been pretty good! and Church is always great...things to work on but that's growth =) Moore college...must start studying!

many things coming up, should be great! but not enough time i feel, to do everything as best i can >.< and not enough motivation lately for uni work either. havent been working (tutoring centre) lately which has been good hehe...time spared for upcoming stuff like The Journey and Granny Smith (St john first aid) and Girls Group and someone's bday (i think).

to Betty & Matt

Congratulations =)

It's such a joy to see the beautiful way
God has worked in your lives
and has brought you together
in a way that only He could do


Canon in D!


was such a beautiful wedding =) wot i found espcially amazing was how openly joyous Betty and Matt were! wot i mean is how they're so genuine and open, and didnt mask their happiness one bit because they should look "elegant" etc and all that nonsensical stuff that my mum told me she and her friends were advised to do when they got married. it was nothing but pleasure to be there at the ceremony and the reception at night!! praise God =)

ohh Howl's Moving Castle was pretty good! hehe was really good to watch it cause i'd never watched anime before. now im starting to understand why a few of my friends are so hooked onto it =P