A wonderful day =)

Hmm really don't feel like working on my BAM assignment, which is really troubling because it's due at 9am tmr. Maybe after posting this i'll be able to concentrate on it a bit more.

Hehe worked on it a bit last night (well technically in the early hours of this morning), and looking at what i wrote, i should've just slept cause it was complete nonsense. Dropped off as i was writing, and i must've dreamt briefly about cooking because one of the lines my hand (with the absence of the mind) wrote down on paper said: "for 40 mins cooked [which was then crossed out and replaced with "cut"] into thin slices". What did i dream about i wonder ... is this what my subconscious is thinking? It's not the first time. A couple of weeks ago i drifted off in the lecture and woke up to see that i'd written down a prayer point on my page of lecture notes. Hmm quite weird hey

Yesterday was awesome! Went to Equip for women conference in the morning with a group of girls from church. The talks were fantastic, challenging me in a way i hadn't been challenged in for a while. They were so refreshing. I'll type the notes up later or something! The music was really good as well. I think music has this way of speaking to me, and one of the songs at the conference brought some tears into my eyes. Not only did the lyrics speak powerfully, but the music was done so very beautifully. Along with the atmosphere created by the lighting (the lack of) and what was shown on the screen, it was quite perfect in my opinion. So many females were there it was awesome. Guys did the ushering, and it was really encouraging to see quite a few from EU there helping out. My friend said that it was "about time" that guys helped out at women's conferences, because throughout the past years, it was always the women who had to stay home, look after the children and the like so the men could go to events. Hmm never saw it that way myself. I just thought, and still do, that it was a loving Christlike and gentlemanly thing that the guys did at the conference yesterday =) Along with the wonderful conversations had during the breaks as well as getting to and from Darling Harbour, i found Equip really really good and would definitely encourage other girls to go next year !!

The 21st last night was awesome! Was so great, seeing all these ex-NSGs there from the grade above, whom i havent seen for years! And the physios in the year above were there too, which was great cause they've been on clinical placement the past half year and not at uni. It was such an enjoyable night, with stimulating conversations as well =) It was a wonderful end to a wonderful day. Really grateful God gave me such a day to step back from the busyness of life that's been so dominating over the past couple of months, to refresh the joy of knowing Him and His family =)

hehe so sweet >.<

Whole day at home today which was good ... hadnt been at home all day for a long time! Hehe this morning my mum told me about my dad's lack of familiarity with cooking =P Apparently yesterday while my mum was at work, my dad saw a couple of pretty small sweet potatoes and decided to make "tong shui" (sweet water - hehe very chinesy) cos he loves that kinda stuff! So he took out the largest pot in our kitchen, which is really big, filled it almost to the brim with water and boiled the sweet potatoes then added sugar. Little did he know that those potatoes shrink a bit, so he ended up with a small mould of sweet potato in a HUGE pot of sugary water =P hehe my mum was like "why did u use my biggest pot?" and he was like "i wanted more!" aiya...my mum ended up adding all these ingredients into his soup to make it drinkable =) My dad was quite happy with his product, justifying it by saying that it'd encourage us to drink more water! And then he went ahead and drank half the pot !! that is, after my mum 're-made' it =P

I reckon guys should learn how to cook ... at least know the basics =)

I also reckon that my dad should stay away from the grocery shopping =P I just opened the fridge and in there were FIVE tubs of ice cream !!!!! Aiya ... not 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 but 5 !!!!! It's pretty cold these days, let alone it being unhealthy ... but then again it was only yesterday that i bought a packet of chocolates for my dad =P

ohh finished my math assignment ! hehe one down ... though it was by far the easiest one ... had fun with it =) i miss maths !!

la di di da da

40% assignment finally done ... that referencing too so much time and energy, and it was just referencing ... shouldn't i be happy it's all over and done with? hmm feeling more like a deadened weight at the moment than anything really ... a burden to others instead of even trying or wanting to be otherwise ... maybe i'll pull myself out of this slump after this entry ...

felt so stoopid today grrr ... never before have i left assignments till this late. was quite amusing though to see so many people in the computer lab and library on a friday arvo, frantically finishing an assignment due at 5pm, and then sprinting to print it out and post it into the box. yeah, that was me too this afternoon ... handed in my assignment with just 2 minutes to spare =( didn't like myself very much at all. and the referencing i just realised i left a bit out booo =( hmm i guess if i lose all the marks given for referencing, i'd only lose 10% ... this was like an assignment in whih i learnt more and more about the process of doing it as i put it together. like i had the information from research there and all, but it wasnt until i was putting it all together than i kept realising more and more how i could've done some parts better and better ... ah well guess there goes the HD for it ... i'll be jumping up and down if i get D for it!

never seems to end ... next week's quite packed but the following week is even more packed *groans* next week should be good though, cause most of it is delving into the Word of God! Moore college exam (so grateful it's could be pushed back) and 1 Peter wrap-up and Deuteronomy introduction and perhaps overview for thursday ... Equip, Girls Group, two friends' 21st, play for service, Girls Group leaders meeting all packed into one weekend! The following week will be awful though, with three assignments due, two of which are HUGE cause they're final assignments wrapping up everything for this semester. Oh dear, maybe i should start my math assignment now, the easier and most enjoyable! okies i'll go print it out!

Yay!! Exam timetable changed =) Really happy about it cause before i'd have3 exams within 25 hours. Now it's wed fri mon tue wed =) not exactly the ideal timetable but we're sooo happy about it hehe!

Feeling much more awake today than yesterday hehe. If anyone's wondering why i walked around like a zombie at times over the past couple of days, and fell asleep in front of the computer, standing on the train, in lectures ... here are my sleeping hours for the past week hehe

mon night - 6 hrs
tue night - 5.5 hrs
wed night - 3 hrs
thurs night - 2 hrs
last night - 12 hrs (massive!!)

hmmm i don't want to imagine what this week will be like ... pretty packed ... will be going home pretty late i think ...

mon - usual (just uni 7pm)
tue - 10pm (uni, hospital for nerve conduction study, running the program for St Johns)
wed - usual (just uni 5pm)
thurs - uni and meeting up with ppl afterwards, at uni (6pm)
fri - no idea ... my 40% assn due then arrrrrrrgh havent started!!! got a test on this day as well
sat - no idea ... moore college exam >.< must study a LOT more for this exam this week!!!!
sun - rehearsal before 501

hehe apparently banging ur head against the wall burns 150 kcal per hour ... wonder if there are any scientific papers on that =P


UPDATE: Don't have to go to St Johns tonight, apparently the superintendant wants tonight to be a surprise night yay! Hope it goes well ... don't have to go out tonight =)

My dear little car =)

Getting attached to my car =P Taken the car everyday since last sat ... wont be able to take it tmr! Didnt realise until these past two days how good it's been hehe ... spent like 4 hours in there today by myself, going to and from uni ... eating and drinking and reading and getting from A to B and listening to music !! Went straight to uni this morning after taking my bro to the station, even though my first class started at 10. Got such a good parking spot =) Library wasnt opened yet when i got to uni (opens at 8) so i stayed in my car reading through the book of Romans =) Never done that before, it was great! Really encourage u to do so as well! Hehe wasnt just me opting to stay in the car, the guy parked behind me ate his brekkie, the girl parked in front tied her hair up and put on make-up or something, people parked on the other side of the road were either reading or talking on the fone or eating ... hehe was quite funny looking across the road and seeing a whole string of cars with people in there doing all sorts of things =) Hehe! I should consider installing an entertainment system in my car, with my own personal tv and all, like my friend at uni did a few days ago!! Only thing is the entertainment system would cost more than the actual car itself =P That and i'd be too busy eating to watch tv whilst driving hehe!!

First aid duty: blow up balloons !!

*yawn*
so tired
seem to be fluctuating between bouts of hyper-wakefulness and hypo-wakefulness
was wide awake at Church today but at the moment i feel so tired and physically weak and unmotivated
i think once all these major assignments are over, a whole loaded will be lifted off, but exams will be upon me in no time, after all the assignments are done with.
such an awful exam timetable too ... eeeeewwwwww

had to go to a St Johns duty this morning, which was the most boring duty i've been to so far to be honest. it was at a pre-school family fun day at a school on pennant parade. like it was really good being there, such a wonderful atmosphere, and observing how parents deal with their young kids. took me a while to warm up to the kids, which was weird cause i normally really enjoy working with young children ... maybe cause i was quite tired. the previous duty i was on was an oztag event and there were so many causalties, that despite me being a probationary member at that time, i had to treat a number of injuries on my own. but this duty, the ONE casualty i treated during those 4 hours was someone who had stupidly cut herself whilst carrying out a most mundane task
that is, myself
the rest of the time, all i did was blow up balloons, decorate the makeshift tent, teach kids anatomy (was embarassing when an adult asked me where the spleen was on that 3D model and i was like yeh where is the spleen >.<), show people how to do CPR, cut my thumb, eat, chat
ahhh the duties of a first aider.

seriously, it's every first aiders desire, to not see anyone get hurt
soooo all in all, was quite a wonderful duty =)

*groans*
so much to do so i better shuddup
what to do first hmmm

A dream come true

These days, in some parts of my life, im living my dream

Growing up with a non-Christian dad, i've always dreamt of serving God as a leader. In teens fellowship and church service, my inability to attend regularly casted me out of serving in ways i really wanted to. That's not to say that one can only serve in certain ways, but i grew up being so encouraged and inspired by those who teach the Bible to others (my Bible study leaders, the committee members who ran the fellowship groups, etc) as well as by those who serve through music at church. God has been sooo good, realising my hopes and dreams over the past year or so! My baptism was awesome ... just the fact that i was baptised and my dad came and watched goes to show God's mighty hand, faithfulness, grace and love =)
But now that God's graciously allowed me to serve Him in Bible study leading and as a muso, more often than not i feel so inadequate and challenged, not that i ever felt adequate before taking on such roles. More often than not i feel like such a failure. I never seem to do as well as i'd like to, there's always not as much time as i'd like there to be, i feel as though i'm failing God so much! Then i'm reminded that we are nothing but weak vessels, we can never ever do anything by ourselves, we are never self-sufficient
... for it is all God !!!
Don't want to be anything but a weak vessel for God, don't want to feel adequate because without God, i'm nothing. Only hoping to be a channel.
When i first started writing Bible studies, one of my friends shared with me an experience in which he felt he'd just written the worst Bible study ever, and had no time to rewrite it. He felt it'd do no one any good, but God worked so amazingly through it that in the end, it became one of the best Bible studies he'd led ever =)

God works powerfully through all things. We may feel weak at times, disappointed, discouraged, disillusioned. But can we ever really do anything? Be faithful. Be prayerful. Strive to be like Christ, looking to Him. It is through weakness that God's strength shines out.

May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

About time ??

Still find it quite amazing how my mum can take one look at me and know im going through a down time. A couple of close friends can too, those who've known me through highschool. It's such a wonderful blessing, and i'm ever so grateful. Apparently i'm like a book sometimes, easily read, other times i'm just the cheery Dory. Is wearing a mask wrong at times? For once i'm thinking about both sides to it. In highschool, i used to think it was an unselfish thing to do, to wear a mask when i feel i'm going through a down time, taking it off only when it's too much. But i seem to have been opening up more and more to people, after spending quite a number of years behind that mask (when things arent going well) unless i'm with my closest friends. These days i try to just be real and genuine, but it feels so selfish sometimes. To burden others with my troubles?? I feel i've become more and more selfish as i've shared personal burdens with others more and more. Hmm... perhaps i should wear the mask more... There's nothing like sharing burdens and joys with brothers and sisters God's blessed my life with, and partly because of that, things have been going much better with all my family and friends it seems! And i don't think things have been much better for me than they are now. Sure there are ups and downs, but all in all.

But God is good!!!
Need to learn to love and trust and obey Him with my all
Someone reminded me on saturday: "We gotta trust and be patient with God."
He knows us better than we can ever know ourselves, more than any other human being can ever know us. He knows what is best for us, and loves us so much He'll provide us with the best. Draw close to Him